Death.

You know what, death sucks. I ain't gonna' argue with that fact, especially since everybodies subconscious Captain Obvious confirms it for them. Everything about it is just a let down. For a start, you die which means no more living, no more friends and no more Maoams forever...and then if THAT didn't suck enough, you get eaten alive by maggots who totally have no consideration for the beautiful body form that was you (Does complimenting my readers mean I've sold out?) and despite what the crackheads at your local Churches might say; that's it. Nothing. The thing that made you conscious has now shut down and no, your conscious has not magically floated away to where you can totally "PARTY AT FIVE!" with Churchill and The Beach Boys...The Beach Boys are dead, right?

Either way, the worst thing about it though is that, considering your cause of death wasn't mass nuclear war, the thing that everybody for decades and generations will remember you by is a crappy, little brick. Look at it! Think about it, in your life you could of saved the ice caps from melting, solved the crisis within the music industry, even found a cure for Belieberism...and you'd still get a bog-standard stone with some flowers, that'll just be nicked by the family of the dead guy next to you because they forgot to bring some. I was thinking though, how about we turned death into a competition that proved just how fucking excellent you really were. Bear with me...

If I got my way, there would be a national law introduced to the country where if somebody was either going to definatly die or felt that they wanted to/had fulfilled all they wanted in life, they would go to special centers around the country where you could fill a form confirming it. Then once they're done, they get shuffled away into an airplane to a remote forest in Northern Canada, pumped on a fuckin' crapton of adrenaline, where they'll all be dropped off and made one by one to fight an onslaught of wild bears. The aim is to try and knock-out as many bears as possible before you are eventually beaten and eaten alive. The official adjudicator who foresaw it, would then note down how many bear's arse you kicked and then that figure would be applied onto your gravestone. The more bears you killed; the more fuckin' awesomeness that you get remembered for. Just think of it, here's an example:

And then if you killed a ridiculous amount, not only can you still win a peen contest when you're dead but your loved ones won't just say "And there they lie..." in a weeping tone but "And there lies the person that I know who killed TWENTY ONE FUCKING BEARS." in a joyous tone. It almost makes death alright for your loved ones.

Then, in centuries to come, you'll still be debated and maybe in the History text books for A Levels...plus, it could stop future debates like we have today! Like this:

"I think that Nikola Tesla was the greatest genius of the modern day world."
"Hmmm, no I disagree. I think Einstein is possibly the ultimate one."
"But how can you say that? Tesla came up with loads of genius ideas. He came up with Tesla coils, he was a master with electricity unseen by today's standards and even near his death, he was working on things like electric death rays and force-field atmospheres which could of potentially stopped nuclear war for good!"
"I say it because it says on Einstein's gravestone that he killed 44 bears whilst Tesla only beat 32."
"Ahhh, fair point."

See? The whole world can benefit from this. There's no human rights being broke as the person signs themselves over and it's a good way to count on who was actually great where it really mattered. It would pretty much be like a giant game of SmashTV.

Just think about it.

Anyways, whilst we're on the subject of death, the Buddhist religion and the Karma system is seriously fucked. It builds itself upon the fact that if you're good in your life you can become a human, if say you were an insect, or a powerful human in your next life if you were already one and vice versa for negative karma...but how does one do good deeds as an insect? If you done bad things as a human and wanted to make up for it...how does that work? Is it basically like Jenga? You've got to keep it up or else when you're at the bottom you're screwed forever? No wonder there's so many insects, the poor souls are wondering "Well what the fuck do I do now". If any religious scholar could tell me if I'm wrong though, that would soothe my mind.

Anyways, this was just a quick post on the subject matter...although if there is any people out there who looked at my bear fighting idea, thought it was good and have the power to do so; contact me.

See yas.